


can't stand the rain

by mostfortissimo



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, does this count as a character study, idiots to lovers, minor mentions of other characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 00:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21499117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostfortissimo/pseuds/mostfortissimo
Summary: “you… wanted to ‘quit’ the marine life club… and didn’t want to ‘tell’ me…?”kaoru felt the guilt eat him alive by the second. it felt sickening.
Relationships: Hakaze Kaoru/Shinkai Kanata
Comments: 5
Kudos: 79





	can't stand the rain

Kaoru felt the guilt eat him alive by the second. It felt sickening.

At first, he couldn't really wrap his head around the fact that he does, in fact, have feelings for another guy— especially if the guy in question happened to be the president of the club he's a part of (and who also happened to be his best friend.)

It took him quite a while to acknowledge and accept his own feelings— and when he finally did, he didn't really know what to do about it. So what did an inexperienced coward like him do?

_Panic, of course._

It didn't exactly help that Kaoru had to interact with Kanata during club hours, either. In fact, simply _being in the same vicinity_ as Kanata constantly gave him a sense of panic.

Kaoru had started avoiding Kanata altogether, being uncharacteristically absent from all his club activities, even going as far as walking straight past him in the hallways without sparing a single glance. He even started attending Undead's practices more frequently, to which everyone, especially Rei, found incredibly odd. As good as Kaoru finally taking practices seriously sounded, something just didn't sit right.

And of course, Kanata himself had his own limits.

Of course he was fully aware of Kaoru having his own problems— they’ve both talked about and bonded over their struggles together, after all. It was like the two of them were constantly on a little deserted island in the middle of the ocean, having no one but each other.

But during those past couple of weeks, Kanata had started to feel like _he_ was the only one deserted on that island— but he just couldn’t accept that yet. 

Was it something he did or said? It must have been, right?

That was how Kanata ended up at Undead's practice room that afternoon, asked for Kaoru, then wordlessly walked him outside until they both reached the fountain.

Kaoru felt awful. They were outside, seated at the edge of the fountain, ambient sounds of birds chirping and water splashing in the background— but all he could process was the painful radio silence that seemed to suffocate him and Kanata. They were never this awkward with one another, and Kaoru knew no one but himself to blame.

“Kaoru.”

Kaoru slightly flinched at Kanata finally breaking the silence, feeling both nervous _and_ relieved.

Kanata wasn’t looking at him.

“I am ‘sorry’.”

_What?_

“Why… are you apologizing?” Kaoru was genuinely confused. Wasn’t Kanata supposed to be mad at him? 

“I must have done something to ‘upset’ Kaoru, right?” Kanata said, finally looking at him. “That is why Kaoru stopped ‘going’ to the club room and stopped ‘talking’ to me. Kaoru doesn’t want to see me, right?”

“No!” Kaoru immediately interjected, panic quickly rising up his throat. “Hey, look, that’s not what I…”

“Or maybe it’s because...” Kanata began solemnly,

“You… wanted to ‘quit’ the Marine Life Club… and didn’t want to ‘tell’ me…?”

Kaoru felt the guilt eat him alive by the second. It felt sickening.

“No, wait, you've got it all wrong, Kanata-kun! Please don’t misunderstand,” Kaoru was _frantic_ at this point. “Hey, I’d… I'd never even think of doing that. Ever. I love being a part of it, especially because of you—"

“Me?” Kanata blinked, genuinely surprised at the response— and as if everything was alright, he _smiled._

“Haaa… I did not know Kaoru ‘liked’ me that much.”

Something about Kanata’s reply flipped a switch in Kaoru’s mind, and all of a sudden, his mind was finally set on something.

No more running away. Kaoru’s already done too much of that.

“Look, Kanata-kun... I'm really, really sorry for making you go through all of that. You know, worrying about me and all. That's supposed to be my job,” Kaoru said, feeling slightly relieved that he and Kanata could finally converse normally again.

“I don’t usually ‘mind’ if it’s Kaoru, but I was indeed really worried. Are you ready to ‘tell’ me why you suddenly left?” Kanata asked him, tilting his head. “Souma was also worried. That child also ‘cares’ a lot about Kaoru.”

“He’d probably try to slice my head off with that katana of his the second I step foot into the club room,” Kaoru shuddered at the thought, but realized he was getting off track. “L-look, Kanata-kun, I—”

He was then interrupted by a pair of warm hands taking his own, holding them gently.

“You are ‘shaking’,” Kanata observed, rubbing his thumbs reassuringly across Kaoru’s nervous palms. “Something must really be bothering you. It's okay, you can tell me ‘anything’. I am ‘here’.” 

“K-Kanata-kun—!” Kaoru sputtered, avoiding Kanata's genuinely worried expression. Now really wasn't the time to get flustered over how soft and warm Kanata's hands were, he had something to say!

“Look,” Kaoru finally began, a lot more composed than he was a few moments back— eventually finding comfort in Kanata’s reassuring hold. “I've always had this bad habit of running away, and you know that by now. I'm... a bit of a coward, scared to face even slightest change. I wouldn't be able to know what to do if things suddenly weren't how they always were, you know?”

Kanata frowned, but remained silent, letting Kaoru continue.

“I didn't really get it at first, Kanata-kun. You're one of my best friends, so it's only natural for me to feel comfortable around you, right…?”

Kanata, not really knowing where the conversation was going, wordlessly nodded in reply.

“That's, kinda the thing here, actually,” Kaoru mumbled awkwardly, unconsciously tightening his hold onto Kanata's hands.

“I had no idea when I started to realize I was feeling… _too comfortable_ around you.”

Kanata still didn't say a word, choosing to look at Kaoru instead and wait for him to elaborate, causing a bit of Kaoru's previous nervousness to slightly seep back in.

“When I started to understand, I was... scared, to say the least,” Kaoru said. "Because you know I really love girls, right? When I take girls out to dates, it's because I want to make them happy, you know? I've always wanted to set some sort of a standard for them, whenever they do eventually get into an actual relationship.”

“Girls are pretty. They're cute, they make my heart race, and I've always wanted to protect them, but..."

Kaoru exhaled as he paused, trying his best to look at Kanata directly in the eye.

“You've always been the one who understood me the most, you know?” Kaoru started to smile. “You've always been there for me when no one else was. Kanata-kun has always been the one giving me comfort all this time, making me feel like I wasn't alone—”

“But, Kaoru is the ‘same,’ though,” Kanata interrupted him suddenly, finally breaking his own momentary silence. “Kaoru does the ‘same’ for me. Kaoru is always ‘worrying’ about me.”

“That I do,” Kaoru managed to chuckle. “That's because I've grown to really care about you as time passed, Kanata-kun. I normally… don't go this far for other guys, you know. And that's what really confused me.”

Taking a deep breath, he continued, “You're the first guy I've grown to care this much about, despite you being as troublesome as you are.” Kaoru felt his confidence steadily grow by the second. “You’re the first guy who I'd willingly do anything for. You’re the first guy who I'd openly receive affection from, no matter how embarrassing it is. I kept thinking that if it was you, it’d be alright.”

“And, you’re…” Kaoru paused.

“You’re the first person… I ever fell in love wi—”

Ah.

So that was it.

Kanata finally understood, and he understood _quickly_ — making him react as quickly.

Abandoning whatever rationality he possessed at that moment, he let Kaoru's hands go, opting to swiftly cup his face instead as he pulled him close, successfully silencing him by pressing his lips onto his.

Finally processing this turn of events, Kaoru's eyes widened, realizing how close Kanata suddenly was. It was like time instantly skidded into a halt as he felt the warmest sensation bubbling deep in his core, threatening to burst any second. Whatever doubts or insecurities Kaoru had before instantly evaporated, replaced with nothing but _warmth._ Kanata was just… warm, _so warm_ — and at that moment, all Kaoru could see, feel, and taste— was Kanata.

Kaoru felt his own arms wrap themselves around Kanata's waist as if they've become sentient, tightening even more by the second, pulling Kanata as close to him as he could. He'd always yearned to feel more of Kanata's warmth, and now that he's gotten a taste of it, all he wanted was more.

Kanata's arms ended up around Kaoru's neck, being pulled in so close he somehow ended up on Kaoru's lap. He too was instantly hooked on the other's warmth and was more than ready to go even deeper into their kiss—

Until they both totally forgot where they were seated, which was the on the edge of the fountain, eventually losing their balance— and falling straight into the cold water.

Kaoru felt all the warmth from earlier leave his body, cringing at the feeling of cold fountain water soaking his entire body, ruining his clothes. Being soaked from head to toe felt rather unpleasant, but then the sight in front of him seemed to successfully distract him from his own ruined state.

It was Kanata, who ended up being as soaked as Kaoru himself, but he was smiling, no— _laughing_ — effectively causing Kaoru's previous annoyance to instantly evaporate into nothing.

Kanata's wet hair somehow glistened prettily under the afternoon sunlight, and with it being accompanied by such bright laughter— Kaoru couldn't help but start laughing, himself.

“Hey, why— why are we even laughing?” Kaoru managed to ask in between wheezes, trying to catch his breath. He didn't remember the last time he genuinely laughed this hard.

“Isn't it ‘funny,’ Kaoru?” Kanata responded, and Kaoru couldn't tell if he was wiping his tears from laughter or if water just got into his eyes— “We were ‘kissing.’ And then we ‘fell’ into the fountain. If you were a bystander who saw such a sight, wouldn't you ‘laugh’ as well?”

“I honestly would, but isn't that kinda mean? I’d feel a bit bad, to be honest,” Kaoru's laughter just doubled at Kanata's previous statement. “You're mean, you know? Pushing me into the water like that. Now I'm all wet.”

“That was an ‘accident’,” Kanata replied, a lazy smile spreading across his face. “I could not help it. Kaoru was very ‘warm.’ I liked Kaoru's ‘warmth’ very much.”

Kaoru's face instantly flushed hearing that, events of the past few minutes suddenly sinking in.

He was sure his face was _definitely_ burning now, causing him to cover his face with hands as he groaned. “Kanata-kun, you didn't even let me finish talking earlier! You— you can't just suddenly k-kiss me like that, you know! You even got us wet! You really are troublesome, aren't you...”

Kanata kept grinning as Kaoru's embarrassment worsened by the second. “If Kaoru and I are ‘together,’ can I ‘kiss’ him all I want by then?”

That was it. Kaoru was _positive_ he’d actually die if Kanata kept running his mouth saying embarrassing things like that. “God, Kanata-kun, what does that even mean…”

“Kaoru,” Kanata began, sighing. “I am telling you that I ‘love’ you. I thought that was quite obvious by now.”

Kaoru blinked.

“You...”

“Kaoru is silly. I wouldn't just 'kiss' anyone, you know. ‘You’ are the only one I ever thought of ‘kissing’.”

“So, all this time…?”

Kanata started to playfully splash at the water. “It has been so long, I don't ‘remember’ anymore. All I know is that I have ‘loved’ you for the longest time now, so I was really ‘happy’ when you said you had feelings for me.”

Kaoru suddenly felt a pang of guilt in stomach, the realization that he made Kanata wait this long for nothing finally hitting him. All the times he spent denying, shoving away, and ignoring what he felt…

“Hey, Kanata-kun?” Kaoru began, absentmindedly running his hand across the fountain water.

“Yes, Kaoru?”

“Sorry for running away and ignoring you these past couple of weeks. I didn't even consider your feelings— making you think you did something wrong while I was just hiding away, letting my fears get the best of me, shutting you out completely and abandoning the rest of my club activities,” Kaoru sighed.

“I was just really scared, you know? What if you rejected me? So much thoughts ran into my head at once. I was... really confused. I've never really seriously fallen in love before, and with another guy, at that...”

“I ‘understand,’ Kaoru,” Kanata easily replied. “You are with me now, so let’s leave the ‘past’ behind.”

Just when Kaoru was about to reply, he immediately flinched.

“Hold on, Kanata-kun— we're literally still in this fountain,” Kaoru cringed, the discomfort of wearing soaking wet clothes coming straight back at him. “We should really get out of here first.”

Like a child, Kanata just stuck his tongue out. “I don't want to~”

“What— why? Don't tell me you plan to stay here and 'puka puka' the entire day!"

“I have always ‘loved’ this fountain,” Kanata began, innocently grinning as he continued,

“But knowing that this is where Kaoru and I had our first ‘kiss,’ I don't want to leave anymore~”

“You—!” Kaoru sputtered, immediately rising to his feet to step out of the fountain, the weight of his drenched clothing making it harder for him to move.

“S-stop saying such embarrassing things! Please tell me you have some spare uniform with you, you can't just walk around with your wet clothes drying on your body. You'll get sick, you know?”

“Fine,” Kanata eventually agreed, seemingly defeated, until shooting Kaoru a mischievous glance.

“I will get out, but only if Kaoru ‘carries’ me.”

And just like that, Kaoru was rendered speechless.

“You...” He was going to say, until settling with groaning as he looked away in order to hide his flushed face.

“You'll turn into Sakuma-san's little brother with that kind of attitude... Just what am I going to do with you?"

“Carry me.” 

“No, come on, Kanata-kun—”

“Please...?” 

Kaoru Hakaze was a weak man. 

Next thing he knew, he already had an armful of wet Kanata.

“I won't be doing this again, just so you know,” Kaoru grumbled under his breath, trying his best to sound annoyed— but the fond look on his face seemed to betray him. 

Kanata only beamed in triumph. 

“Whatever you say, Kaoru~"

Kaoru finally let a genuine smile slip on his face. 

He could definitely get used to this. 

**Author's Note:**

> congratulations on your marriage kaokana


End file.
